I must be too annoying 4 u.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
