THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
