I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
