my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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