Whod you bang
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just high enough for therapy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
