whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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