Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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