clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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