Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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