I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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