Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
