o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
