Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
