All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
