two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
