He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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