you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
