I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
