Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
