i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
