would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
