I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize