fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
