Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think your dad took our porno
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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