a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
