she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize