can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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