Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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