so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
