And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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