There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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