Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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