Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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