we have officially lost it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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