I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
