The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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