There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
