Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
