She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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