sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
