a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we're making bets on your personal life
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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