New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
