we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
