Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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