Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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