I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
