stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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