just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
