I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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