Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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