I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
