Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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