Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Boobs are out for the taking
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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