Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
