dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
farters have to be the big spoon...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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