I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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