I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
