he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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