I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
