i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
