guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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