I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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