i just google imaged poop.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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