i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
