Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
