Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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