Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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