OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
