Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
